The Five Orange Pips: Dark Nights

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Five Orange Pips
Title: Dark Nights
Author: rachelindeed
Rating: PG

~~

On dark nights, I have happened more than once to hear footsteps behind me.

Each time I stop to look back, but I see no one.

Just before I wake, John Openshaw, lips black, face young and dead, leans to my ear and whispers, ‘That is what you may expect to see, when I follow you.’

He always will.

Comments

re: Dark Nights

[vaysh]

*shivers* Despite Holmes' somewhat nonchalant reaction to the news of John Openshaw's death in the night, I can well expect that this death haunts him for the rest of his life. Your dream image of the young man, with black lips, young and dead is chilling. Thank you!

[debriswoman]

The outcome would matter to Holmes, and this is a very effective way of showing it.

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

"That he should come to me for help, and that I should send him away to his death --!" I think young Openshaw's death would stay with Holmes. That he'd see it as his fault.

And I have to agree with vaysh - there is something truly terrible and unnatural about "young" and "dead" being linked together. Makes you react to the image with horror, rather than sympathy.

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

Really strong and well written! Thank you for sharing.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

*Shivers at the thought*

Re: Dark Nights

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm very glad the dream succeeded in being creepy, that is definitely what I was going for.

And yes, I think Holmes' gut reaction when a case goes wrong is usually to be upset at his own failure in judgment and what that says about him, but he's also self-aware enough to know that it's petty to be more focused on himself than on the victim. He analyzes his own personal reaction as faulty even as he's experiencing it.

He's disgusted with himself, both on an intellectual and emotional level, I think. And I imagine he has the kind of brain that would be very, very effective at constructing nightmares so long as his subconscious keeps grappling with guilt.

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! Yes, I think he takes the death of clients hard, particularly ones as preventable as this.

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Horror is definitely the effect I was hoping to create. I'm glad you liked the "young and dead" phrase; I did, too. And the dialogue is actually from The Devil's Foot -- Holmes pulls out that line about "that is what you may expect to see when I follow you" in response to Dr. Sterndale, just minutes after having relived his own personal demons and darkest imaginings. I think probably poor Openshaw was still in his head somewhere. It would be interesting if some of those elegant little taunts we hear from Holmes, that make him seem so aloof and in control, are words that he first and privately directed at himself. I suspect, with a brain like his, that his bouts of self-criticism would be both stinging and morbid.

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it :)

[rachelindeed.livejournal.com]

My work here is done :)