The Norwood Builder: Bones

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Title: The Norwood Builder: Bones
Author: gardnerhill           
Word Count: 60
Rating: G
Warning: None.
Summary: I know forensic medicine was in its infancy in 1895, but REALLY.


“We’ve put together the remains we found in the fire.” Lestrade strutted a little at having gotten one over on my friend. “Most curious! According to the bones we found, Mr. Jonas Oldacre was two feet tall when he sat up, had long ears and a furry puff of a tail, and was very fond of carrots.”

“Brilliant work, Inspector.”

Comments

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

I may have done myself a small mischief laughing at this ^___^

Nicely satirical - this is a very, very good point. If there was enough left after the fire to be considered "charred remains", then it would be easy to see they were non-human remains.

[capt-facepalm.livejournal.com]

I like the way Granada handled it with a missing tramp. Probably because I am blood-thirsty.

[debriswoman]

Excellent deduction, Lestrade...:-p
Surely the aroma from the fire may have been appetising rather than ominous, too...

[tripleransom.livejournal.com]

Well done, Lestrade. He's learning(!)

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Glad to see Lestrade applying logic, although coming to the wrong conclusion.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that these guys would have eaten rabbit on a regular basis so they should be able to recognise the bones!

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Yeah - that made a lot more sense (and made Oldacre far more evil than just being a sociopathic stalker) than trying to pass off rabbit bones as human ones.

In the BBC Radio version, Jonas Oldacre is voiced by Peter Sallis - unnerving to hear that horrible man talking in Wallace's cheery Northern accent ("Come along, lad"). When Holmes wonders out loud if Oldacre used a dog's bones, I shrieked "GROMIT!!!!"

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

And they would have eaten rabbit often enough to recognize the bones. SNIFF. "Mmm. Bit of onion sauce, and that would...what am I saying?"

Like Capt_Facepalm, I like that the Granada production skipped that ridiculous ruse by simply having Oldacre cold-bloodedly murder a tramp so they'd have a human corpse for their fire. That also removes the Victorian classist crap Holmes spouts about "Oh, one of those dirty tramps probably killed him, you know what worthless people they are."

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Considering that Oldacre was described as a wizened little man moving like a rabbit when he flees his hidey-hole, maybe he wasn't so far-fetched about using a bunny (probably reminded him of his mum).

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

"Also, he was delicious with mushroom gravy."

[debriswoman]

Absolutely
Much more believable.