The Gloria Scott: Ghosts

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: Gloria Scott
Title: Ghosts
Author: azriona
Rating: PG

A/N: Hi! First time playing and I’m very much looking forward to reading all the stories. Sixty words is…a whole lot fewer than I’m used to using. I used the prompt remember, but mostly by accident. Crit & comments very welcome.




My father was as dear to me as any man – I lisped my letters at his knee, rode my pony braced by his arms, learned duty by his example. Holmes read his letter, and replaced him with someone far more foul.

Holmes could have been a comfort to me, but he killed my father twice, and I could not forget.

Comments

[tweedisgood.livejournal.com]

I like the thrust of this but have a period comment: Victor Trevor and Holmes were close friends, but they would almost certainly have not used first names at that time - after all, Holmes and Watson never did...

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the crit, you're absolutely right. It occurred to me about 20 seconds after I posted that they probably would have called each other by their last names, but then my son interrupted me and I'm only getting online again now! :) I'll go ahead and make the change.

[debriswoman]

That is quite a sad thought; Victor Trevor associating Holmes with his changed view of his father. Nicely put, and delighted you are joining in:-)

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks - it's all about that thing where it's the messenger who kills a person, not anything else, and Sherlock by reading that letter, surely colored Victor's memory of his father.

[hisietari.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting take on the story, and certainly one that is potentially very possible, too. We like to blame those who point out the truth in our beloved ones' pasts which we don't want to see.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I have to think that Victor's memories of his father would be colored by what he'd learned, and as he learned them in Sherlock's voice, his memory of Sherlock would be likewise colored.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Really interesting perspective. And given that Holmes would have been very matter of fact about Trevor Senior's actions quite understandable.

Oh, and welcome.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! (For both comment and welcome.)

60 for 60, week 1: The Gloria Scott

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

User spacemutineer referenced to your post from 60 for 60, week 1: The Gloria Scott (http://dispatch-box.livejournal.com/192530.html) saying: [...] by Ghosts [...]

[spacemutineer.livejournal.com]

he killed my father twice

Oh, that's painful and so apt. Nicely done, indeed. It might be your first time working in 60 words, but it's an impressive job! Looking forward to more. :) Welcome to our comm, by the way! We're glad to have you! I'm the mod around here, so let me know if there's ever anything you need. Thanks for writing!

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I wrote about five versions, trying to get it down to 60 words (it started at 78), and I knew I wanted to allude to the role Holmes played in both Mr. Trevor's physical and metaphorical deaths, no matter what else was cut.

And thanks for the welcome, too - I'm really looking forward to reading all the stories with everyone. :)

[impulsereader.livejournal.com]

I love this. It's such a devastating thought for him, but so very true.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

User dancy_dreamer referenced to your post from Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 (http://holmesian-news.livejournal.com/230470.html) saying: [...] by (Holmes, Victor Trevor | G | ACD) Ghosts [...]

[snycock.livejournal.com]

Wow, I like this take on the effect of Holmes reading the letter. A good explanation of why they never spoke again.

And I predict you'll find 60 words very, very addictive... :-)

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Oh, I already do - it was a good sort of annoying, trying to get this story down to 60!

I'm not sure what's worse - knowing the truth about your father, or knowing that you can't even keep it to yourself for a little bit. I'm sure Sherlock wouldn't have told, if Victor had asked...but Victor would never have asked.

[hardboiledbaby]

It's a terrible thing to learn that a loved one isn't exactly who we think they are. Poor Victor. Thanks for sharing.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

It struck me, how Victor lost his entire world in the course of one summer - and that it was Sherlock who read the letter to him.

Thanks for the comment!

[musamihi.livejournal.com]

Wow, your use of language really comes through even in this little piece - I love the way you write. And the sad little portrait of what Victor's lost is also lovely, of course.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the lovely review! I'm glad you enjoyed it - it was fun to write! :)

Completely off-topic, but I'm having trouble reading what's on your icon. Is that your handwriting? (It's lovely, it's just a bit out of focus when I enlarge.) What's the passage?

[musamihi.livejournal.com]

You know, I haven't got a clue what it says - I made this icon when I made this journal (which was in ... 2005, seriously?), and I don't remember now whether I chose a specific passage or just a random image. Maybe it's time for an update!

[ennui-enigma.livejournal.com]

Nicely written! I like to think of the two ending on slightly more amiable terms but you make an excellent case for why this might not be so. Being in the position of Holmes at times in real life, I kinda feel sorry that he was the messenger of bad news for Trevor. Not his fault about the father's past. Oh well. Great piece. Welcome to the community!

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's half the fun of fanfic written about the minor characters - there are so many interpretations possible for where they started and where they end up, you'll never read a fanfic that has the same concept twice, and all are equally plausible (or not). :)

[ennui-enigma.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed! That's what great about Sherlock60 too. Lots of opinions and new ideas but not too much reading :-P

[sherlockholmes.livejournal.com]

This was beautifully written. I'm always really impressed with someone manages to pack a lot of feeling into just a few words, and you really did here. The images you painted are just lovely.

I've always sort of liked Victor Trevor (and the insights into Holmes' past that this and Musgrave give us). But his story is certainly a very sad one, and I can't help but wonder about what happened to him.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This was my first attempt at 60 words - it's really good to hear that it worked for people. :)

I'm going with the theory that Victor moved out to the tea plantations, fell in love with a beautiful local girl, got married, had fantastic sex, lots of babies, and lived happily ever after. I'm a romantic that way. :)