sherlock60 | Mrs. Hudson's Poetry Page: The Blue Carbuncle

scfrankles.livejournal.com posting in

Welcome once again to my poetry page!

I hope each week you will read Dr. Watson’s delightful narrative and then be inspired to write a poem related to it in some way. All forms of poetry are permitted, and further down the page there is a selection you might like to consider using over the coming weeks.

This week my featured form is the diamante.

Shadow Poetry gives the following definition:

A Diamante is a seven-lined contrast poem set up in a diamond shape.

Line 1: Noun or subject
Line 2: Two Adjectives describing the first noun/subject
Line 3: Three -ing words describing the first noun/subject
Line 4: Four words: two about the first noun/subject, two about the antonym/synonym
Line 5: Three -ing words about the antonym/synonym
Line 6: Two adjectives describing the antonym/synonym
Line 7: Antonym/synonym for the subject

Here is my example poem:

Jewel
blue, pure
shining, twinkling, enticing
beautiful carbuncle, precious canker
tempting, seducing, corrupting
sinister, bloody
Stone

I have incorporated some of Mr. Holmes’ and the doctor’s words from the story itself, in order to assist me in illustrating the dual nature of the carbuncle.

[With the permission of Mrs. H., a note from a moderator.

I don’t think it’s possible to centre lines in comments, so if you want to have a try, perhaps you could do something like this:

--------------------Jewel-------------------
-----------------pure, blue-----------------
-------shining, twinkling, enticing------
beautiful carbuncle, precious canker
----tempting, seducing, corrupting---
--------------sinister, bloody-------------
--------------------Stone------------------

This idea is taken from debriswoman’s solution to the concrete poetry debacle. (Once again, Mrs. Hudson sends her apologies.)

EDIT:

vaysh has pointed out it is indeed possible to centre comments - you just have to use the < center > tag. Sorry about that - as you were ^^"]

As always, this is simply something to consider for the future. Any form of poetry is welcome this week—and every week! Here are a few suggestions for you:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, cinquain, clerihew, concrete poetry, diamante, epigram, haiku, limerick, palindrome poetry, riddle, sedoka, sestina, sonnet, tanka, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triolet, tyburn, villanelle

Please leave all your poems inspired by The Blue Carbuncle in the comments on this post. I look forward to seeing them!

Warm regards,

Mrs. Hudson

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

James Ryder:
Grabbed a bird and put the gem inside ‘er.
But it was found where it was tucked.
His goose was cooked.

From:

debriswoman

Excellent
Last line in particular

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Thanks so much ^^ I was very pleased with that last line ^_^

From:

debriswoman

So you should be:-)

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

One cannot help but feel that this was a silly thing to do.

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Writing a clerihew..? (:P)

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

No, dear, pushing a valuable jewel into the neck of an innocent goose.

I have purposefully refrained from commenting on the apparent Northern rhyming you have employed.

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

You know, I was completely unaware that I was using Northern rhyming...

Just listened to a Southerner pronouncing "tuck". You're quite right - you lot do pronounce it incorrectly.

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

I am not entirely certain that I agree.

From:

laurose8.livejournal.com

Well summarised. Good job on rhyming Ryder, and very good last line.

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Thank you so much ^_^ I was pleased with this one ^^

From:

debriswoman

Nicely done, ma'am
And a perfect subject for the shape.

Edited Date: 2015-03-22 09:00 am (UTC)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Thank you. The subject of the story did immediately make me think of the diamante form - it seemed the perfect opportunity to try it.

(deleted comment)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Absolutely delightful ^__^

I love Watson's admonishments in the first verse. ("...the brightest brain in London/ Had forgotten his key." ^_^) And the hiding place was so clever ^^

A wonderful extra adventure for the carbuncle ^^

From:

debriswoman

Thank you:-)

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

I like that Watson instantly assumes it was Holmes fault and not that of a burglar.

From:

debriswoman

Well...odds were in favour of that assumption:-)

From:

laurose8.livejournal.com

Your powers of poetry/Never cease to amaze. And what a jewel of an end. Thank you very much for this perfect little case.

From:

debriswoman

Thank you very much:-)

(deleted comment)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

I know I've said it before - but I'm always gobsmacked that you can take a brand new form and then come up with something so accomplished, so quickly ^^"

It's such a perfect choice of subject for the form - Baker going from success to failure. And I so admire that natural progression in your poem: drink going from being something to celebrate with, to becoming something that ruins Baker's life.

From:

debriswoman

Thank you very much:-)

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

Very well done - and as Frankles says, your ability to produce something so good so quickly is amazing.

From:

debriswoman

Thank you:-)

From:

laurose8.livejournal.com

Just - excellent!

From:

debriswoman

Thank you so much:-)

From:

vaysh

What a fascinating form
for a poem.
I may have to give this
a try.

It is possible to center in comments. This was done with the [center] command. :)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Oh, crikey ^^" *blushes considerably*

Thanks for letting me know - I was trying to use the "div style" code, which didn't work. I didn't think to check the allowed HTML tags ^^" I shall correct my note on the poetry page ^_^

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

.
.
.
.

GOOSE
........N
........J.....it is
........Once every year your
........Yuletide dinner

Edited Date: 2015-03-22 01:38 pm (UTC)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Thank you for being brave enough to have a go at concrete poetry in the comments! (I know it is awkward.)

I thought for one moment you were yelling "GOOSE!" at me. It reminded me of an incident last summer when I was walking with Mrs. Turner in the park. She did indeed yell "Goose!" and I had that "gentleman" and his wandering hands on the ground before you could say "Sherlock Holmes". (He was the one who taught me the baritsu moves, of course.)

From:

laurose8.livejournal.com

Thanks for sharing that little adventure with us. Was there a particular reason, then, why he taught you the moves?

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

I had become somewhat fed up with the constant stream of villains breaking into my establishment in order to attack Mr. Holmes. He agreed it would be simpler if I could take care of them on my own, then he wouldn't have to be distracted from his experiments.

Do excuse me. I think I hear someone attempting to get through the scullery window...

Edited Date: 2015-03-22 08:23 pm (UTC)

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

I do apologise for the number of edit notices you must have received. It was a trifle difficult persuading the poem to look as I wished it too.

I am sure that you were well up to dealing with such an errant gentleman. I can assure you that this poem only refers to the fowl. (As opposed to the foul man.)

From:

morelindo.livejournal.com

Something along these lines, maybe.

Horner
Poor, honest
Working, earning, loving
Father, husband; son, lover
Scheming, snivelling, crouching
Jealous, greedy
Ryder

A pretty form!

Edited Date: 2015-03-22 07:48 pm (UTC)

From:

laurose8.livejournal.com

A pretty poem! I love the antithesis, and its peak at the names. Thank you for sharing.

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

Oh gosh, that's excellent ^^" And such an inspired choice of subjects for the poem - Horner does make a very good contrast with Ryder.

I feel so sorry for him - being in trouble in the past but now trying to live honestly, and then Ryder and Cusack attempt to use his past against him in this dreadful and selfish way.

Thank you for having a go at the diamante. It is a pretty form - and yet so oddly suitable for serious topics.

From:

debriswoman

Really well done with clever contrasts:-)

From:

vaysh

Using those two characters is so suited for the poem form. Very, very nicely done.

From:

thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com

Inspired use of the poetic form.

From:

vaysh

I was riding the bus today for an hour, and I just had to try a diamante. :D

hat
tattered, battered,
cracking, missing, puzzling
black trophy; treasure trove
fattening, devouring, revealing
unimpeachable white
goose

Edited Date: 2015-03-23 12:00 am (UTC)

From:

debriswoman

Oh, this works very well
Lovely choice of words:-)

From:

vaysh

I've shamelessly stolen the words from Holmes and Watson. :) Thank you!

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

I'm so delighted you did have a go ^_^

And that's such a clever comparing and contrasting of Mr. Baker's lost possessions ^^ I've just realised - of course, you've got black and white. And the hat is battered and worn, but the goose (apart from the fact it's dead ^^") is an excellent one.

And the hat reveals (to Holmes) information about its owner, and the goose reveals the jewel!

From:

vaysh

I'll readily admit that I have yet to come up with ANY idea for a 60 word drabble for the Blue Carbuncle story. ;) This was a whole lot of fun.

Like you, in your example diamante, I made well use of all the many words Holmes and Watson use. black tropy, treasure trove ... it's all from the story. :)

From:

scfrankles.livejournal.com

I find some stories trickier than others when it comes to finding ideas, I must admit ^^"

And I suppose as well as your poem being a diamante, you could also class it as a piece of found poetry ^_^ It's a very clever rearrangement of the words in the story ^^