Sherlock Holmes: 60 for 60

Read on, for a tale is now told
Of the coal-country gangs and their hold
On their valley. (I fear,
Just like “Scarlet,” Doyle here
Wished to write some non-Holmes to be sold.)

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okapi1895.livejournal.com

Well done. I said to myself "This is like that. Mormon bit. And skipped to the end.

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And this is why we're playing a game this week instead of having a discussion ^_^

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Poor guy. As a writer I completely understand his frustration.

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okapi1895.livejournal.com

I do understand what you're saying. Even if I win the Nobel prize, my epitaph will read 'she wrote filthy omegaverse threesomes' BUT ol' Artie created one of the most iconic literary characters of all time; he got knighted; his old lady finally hacked herself to death and he got the girl in the end. Kind of difficult to feel too sorry for him.

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Another very good point. I wonder though if anyone ever reads the second half of VALL with any enthusiasm ^^"

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I read it by completely wiping Holmes out of my mind and approaching it as yet another of Doyle's American ripping-yarns. In that respect the novelette is a perfectly decent piece of fiction on its own.

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I agree that it's well-written and I appreciate ACD's frustration. But it's not just that the second half doesn't have Holmes and Watson in it that saps my enthusiasm. The violence and murders feel so realistic and the story is so unremittingly dark. I've never been able to read it for pleasure. The second half of VALL is absolutely my least favourite story in the canon - and I include FINA in that.

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debriswoman

Well done:-)
And very true...

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As a Holmes fan you get irritated by the bait-and-switch - but as a writer you understand that Doyle really, really wanted people to know he could write OTHER things...

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I believe he failed though.

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Poor guy. Imagine if everyone in the world acclaimed you, NOT for the dissertation you lovingly sweated over for 20 years, but for the 3-page stuff you whacked out in a couple of days just to get a free magazine - and wanted MORE of those characters.

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I gather Mr. Holmes is a huge fan of their work, so here is a reworking of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “When a Felon's Not Engaged in His Employment” - more commonly known as “A Policeman’s Lot is Not a Happy One”:

When your theories are all said to have no merit (have no merit)
By a gentleman who stays an amateur (amateur)
And his faithful Boswell says you’re like a ferret (like a ferret)
Then you must admit it’s not exactly fair. (‘xactly fair)

And later when you know the doctor better (doctor better)
And in amongst the brooms you’re having fun (having fun)
Mrs. Hudson locks the door ‘cos you’ve upset ‘er (you’ve upset ‘er)
A policeman’s lot is not a happy one.

Ohhhh…
When you’re shooting out a deadbolt with your gun (with your gun)
A policeman’s lot is not a happy one. (happy one…)

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Erm...that "shoot out a deadbolt with your gun" was meant literally,right?

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Yes! ^^" *blushes furiously* (Very amusing ^_^)

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debriswoman

I was singing along happily till distracted by gardnerhill's comment.
Honestly...:-p

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I now can only see gardnerhill's interpretation ^^"

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debriswoman

Me too.

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Please try not to corrupt Mouselet any more than necessary. She has been looking at Inspector Hopkins with a very thoughtful expression.

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Yes, I must apologise. It's all turned out a bit more risqué than I intended... ^^"

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*happy sigh*

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debriswoman

Very catchy:-)

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Thank you, dear lady.

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This is lovely. I need to get my breathe back.

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debriswoman

:-)

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That is amazing ^__^ So many brilliant rhymes. I'll just pick out a few lines that I especially liked but really I could quote the whole thing back at you ^^ :

I am the very model of a modern criminologist
And proof that magnifying glass and Gladstone bag can co-exist.
I spend my days investigating all events nefarious
And spend my nights in Baker Street with pipe and Stradivarius.

My enemies are numerous; they doubt that I can better them,
And those which are most dangerous are listed under letter "M"

A man who wields a pistol or a stethoscope with equal ease;
Who wouldn't want a comrade who had useful talents such as these?

The range of my adventures, but ignore the odd dramatic twist;
The only disadvantage of a scribe who's a romanticist.

And the references to all the cases in the last verse ^^

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debriswoman

Thank you:-)

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laurose8.livejournal.com

Bravo! (rather breathless.) Starts quoting at I spend my days investigating all events nefarious/And spend my nights in Baker Street with pipe and Stradivarius and wants to continue quoting to the rnd.

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debriswoman

Thank you:-)

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Brava! Take a breath.

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debriswoman

Thank you

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okapi1895.livejournal.com

I really think this is fit for the stage, a stage, somewhere...(and not just in my head)

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debriswoman

Thank you:-)

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The door bell rings
Are you listening
He has come
His eyes glistening
My inspector is here
Happiness is near
221B is the Christmas place to be

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On the mantel you can build a cheeseman
And pretend that it is Mr. Holmes
He'll say: "Are you married?"
You'll say: "Please, man!"
Your heart from Stanley Hopkins never roams...

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laurose8.livejournal.com

Love both verses. The last line of Mouselet's is delightful!

Edited Date: 2015-12-27 04:48 pm (UTC)

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Well, it is true!

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There’s a grape
For a posh hat
And some ribbon
Makes a cravat
Cheese man is smart
But he won’t win my heart
My inspector is the only one for me

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*applauds* Both of your poems are splendid, Mouselet! May I just give especial praise to "nibbles/gnaw on" & "purloin/paw on"? A dandy bit of wordplay ^^

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