The Three Students: A Greek Abecedarian Play

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Title: A Greek Abecedarian Play
Rating: Gen
Length: 337
Content Notes: Crack, Omegaverse, an attempt at an abecedarian poem using the Greek alphabet and the meanings of the various letters from wikipedia-level research of terms
Author's Notes: I couldn't get the formatting right in a comment on the poetry page so I'm going to post it separately.

A Greek Abecedarian Play

Starring:
Alpha!Holmes, who has a monograph on early English charters littered with grammatical and spelling errors
Omega!Watson, who has exceptional proofreading and editing skills

Holmes: Alpha, am I, with monograph superior

Watson: Beta, if used, might winnow chaff inferior

[Holmes hands Watson the monograph; Watson scans it.]

Watson: Gamma, or grammar is required and spelling, too

[Watson dons his pince-nez and produces a red pen and goes to work on the monograph. He finishes and hands it to Holmes, who looks stricken at all the red on the pages.]

Holmes: Delta, the change between page neat, page red is you!
                Epsilon, a child, this work, with love-sweat-struggle wrought
                Zeta, is now crisscrossed, with unsheathed pen-gash fraught!

[Watson soothes.]

Watson: Eta, my marks, like seventh star, are there to guide
               Theta, your words from death upon the dashing tide
               Iota, of pebble-sand-grit errors. Pray don’t curse,
               Kappa, held in the cupped palm of the universe,
               Lambda, your argument rests, strong like Spartan’s shield.
               Mu, (sic) your lyrical command of academic field.

[Holmes isn’t convinced.]

Holmes: Nu, (isance) is revision when first thoughts are pristine!

[Watson argues for his edits, then soothes more.]

Watson: Xi, but strike these variables, reign supreme!
               Omicron, they’ll gasp, from smaller, softer ‘ohs’ to ‘ahs.’
               Pi, of beautiful irrational applause.

[Holmes, realizing his vanity and the justice in what Watson recommends, crumples.]

Holmes: Rho, dear man, forgive my dense and foolish pride.
               Sigma, the sum of your advice shall here abide
               Tau, the texts revived, rid of ancient, modern grime
               Upsilon, at this Pythagorean point in time
               Phi, my path is lit by gold ratio thine.

Watson: Chi, our paths are two, like souls, our worlds, too, twine.

[Holmes drops the monograph, walks to the centre of the stage.]

Holmes: Psi, by Neptune’s prongs…

[Watson throws down his pince-nez and red pen and meets him half-way. They clasp hands.]

Watson: …we’ll sigh and sing our songs.

Holmes [singing]: Omega, you’re the perfect beta mine!

Watson [singing]: …Alpha mine!

THE END

Comments

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Somehow I wasn't expecting this magnificent specimen! Awesome.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And as a beta you can empathize with Watson's plight!

[debriswoman]

Brilliantly penned...a clever idea, elegantly executed:-)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you!

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

Starring:
Alpha!Holmes, who has a monograph on early English charters littered with grammatical and spelling errors
Omega!Watson, who has exceptional proofreading and editing skills ^________^

This is just wonderful ^__^ So funny, and so witty and clever. I particularly liked: Epsilon, a child, this work, with love-sweat-struggle wrought/ Zeta, is now crisscrossed, with unsheathed pen-gash fraught! (We've all been there, Holmes ^^")

Lovely to see Holmes and Watson finishing the play in perfect harmony though ^__^

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was thinking of your musicals at the end. I liked yours a lot. It seemed I had to get crackier and crackier by the line to make it reach some kind of conclusion.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Very, VERY clever! Yes, the precise alphabet wasn't specified was it?

And you hold the distinction of having written the ONLY Omegaverse fanfic I shall ever read.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Aw. I'm honored. Not a fan, eh? I go through phases. Haven't ready any in a long time.

Thank you! Yes, no alphabet was specified but I had to get crackier and crackier to make it work.

[mafief.livejournal.com]

Almost didn't read this because of the Omegaverse bit, but I'm glad I did. This was well done and clever. :)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thanks!