Discussion Post: The Retired Colourman

[spacemutineer.livejournal.com]

Welcome, welcome! It's discussion time again. What did you think of The Retired Colourman? It's not one of the better known stories, but it has plenty of interest to it. As always, I've included a few of my thoughts and questions. Please add your own!

-- ETA: This question is factually wrong. The last published story is actually Shoscombe Old Place. Thanks for the heads up, wytchcroft! Sorry, everyone. I messed this one up. -SM
This is the last story published in Doyle's canon, although not the last chronologically. Does it make for a satisfying closing case for a reader? It has a lot of familiar elements to previous cases in it; it made me think of a greatest hits album. Holmes seems to feel the end coming here, with a particularly bleak existential monologue about the futility of life. By the finale, he is a bit more wistful. "You can file it in our archives, Watson. Some day the true story may be told." And so it all has.

-- I enjoyed all the references to the telephone, although it seemed odd for a story set in 1898. Another reflection of the late date of writing, I suspect.

-- In his melancholy mood, Holmes is rough on poor Watson. First he sends him on a fact-finding errand only to insult him about his meager skills and his propensity for flowery language when he returns. Then he forces Watson on a time-wasting journey to nowhere with the miserable Mr. Amberley. Ouch. At least Holmes notices his behavior is a problem and tries to apologize somewhat.

-- The Retired Colourman has a tremendous climax! "Only this: What did you do with the bodies?" Wow, that's some line. You can just hear the crescendo of music crashing on the soundtrack with that. DUN DUN DUNNN!!!

-- Does Amberley just carry around lethal suicide poison all the time for whenever he needs it or just since he committed a double murder?

-- What do you make of Mr. Barker, Holmes' "hated rival upon the Surrey shore"?

The Retired Colourman: The Chess Player

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Retired Colourman
Title: The Chess Player
Author: thesmallhobbit
Rating: G

Think you will take my queen, do you?  Just remember that the game only ends when the king is dead and not before.  You will become as one of the pawns in my hands, completely expendable.  I do not think that you will find a better game player than I am, be that with chess pieces or with human lives.

The Retired Colourman: Ambition, G

[tweedisgood.livejournal.com]

The Adventure of the Retired Colourman

Author: tweedisgood

Title: Ambition

Rating: G

He's gone. Left London for good to hide away in the country: says he's tired of crime.

And here's me, ready to make 14, Lorrimore Road the most famous address for detection in the twentieth century.

But I won't. He was there first, and last; he had a friend and storyteller like no other. He'll never really leave Baker Street.

The Retired Colourman: Compelled

[spacemutineer.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Retired Colourman
Title: Compelled
Author: spacemutineer
Rating: G
Author's Note: I learned a new word today! I love research. :)


He perceived the threat even if he did not recognize its source. A quality player learns to sense risk.

"I don't think I shall go."

Faced with a true master, he was forced into zugzwang, and as the German suggests, he was compelled to move.

"...but if you think --"

"I do think."

And Amberley's game was lost.

The Retired Colourman - The Essential Problem

[hisietari.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Retired Colourman
Title: The Essential Problem
Author: hisietari
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Forgive me, for this is what happens when I'm absolutely clueless.


Dear Mycroft,

I'd like to have John Watson officially declared a hopeless case. Sent him away to decorate bedroom for birthday party – he doesn't walk in. Sent him to countryside so he'd see giant congratulations dirigible – doesn't look up. Spent a good extra hour of burglary to paint message on convict's cellar wall – won't take eyes off case.

Any ideas?

The Adventure of the Retired Colourman: Credit Overdue

[methylviolet10b]

Author: methylviolet10b
Rating: PG
Character(s): Sherlock Holmes, Doctor John Watson
Summary: Holmes knows what helps differentiate him from his rivals.
Warnings: Mild spoilers for RETI.
Word Count: 60
Author's Notes: 60 words of my own inspired by one of the canon stories. This week, an additional 100-word extended play version, too, because...well, I couldn't fit in the entire idea in 60 words.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.

RETI -- The Adventure of the Retired Colourman

After Inspector MacKinnon’s departure, I settled back into my chair, a warm glow suffusing my entire body like the finest brandy. “That was uncommonly kind of you, Holmes.”

“What, to let the Inspector take the credit? Hardly.”

“No.” I cleared my throat. “You were remarkably complimentary. ‘Astute,’ ‘invaluable…’”

“Ah.” Holmes flushed. “Well, my dear Watson, credit where credit is due.”

Click here for the extended play version!

The Retired Colourman

[flawedamythyst.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Retired Colourman
Title: Compliments
Rating: PG
A/N: Holmes/Watson-y. It was this, or a completely depressing one based on, "And what is left in our hands at the end? A shadow. Or worse than a shadow -- misery." Yeah, thanks for that ray of sunshine, Holmes.


There was a time when Holmes's compliments to my physical appearance made me protest the inaccuracy of such statements, until the day he chastised me for it.

“Watson, I am one of the most observant men in London and you know I never indulge in false flattery. If I say you are extremely handsome, then it is undoubtedly true.”


*

The Retired Colourman: Telephone

[snycock.livejournal.com]

Canon Story: The Retired Colourman
Title: Telephone
Author: snycock
Category: Gen
Rating: G

“Holmes, must we have this infernal device in our flat?”

“Watson, you know my methods. I must have access to the most modern scientific tools to aid my deductions.”

“I cannot see that it is so much more efficient than the telegraph.”

“Trust me, my dear fellow; someday this small device will replace the telegraph entirely. It is the future.”